FRASIER "The Good Son" #60181-098 Created and Written by David Angell & Peter Casey & David Lee Directed by James Burrows REVISED FINAL DRAFT April 29, 1993

FRASIER "The Good Son" #60181-098 CAST FRASIER CRANE. KELSEY GRAMMER MARTIN .....JOHN MAHONEY DAPHNE MOON. JANE LEEVES NILES DAVID HYDE PIERCE ROZ DOYLE. . PERI GILPIN EDDIE....... MOOSE RUSSELL JEREMY LAWRENCE WAITRESS . . .GINA RAVARRA DELIVERYMAN. CLETO AUGUSTO CLAIRE MIMI SAVAGE 2ND _UNIT: MAN #1 WOMAN #1 MAN #2 WOMAN #2 (V.0.) WOMAN #3

FRASIER "The Good Son" #60181-098 INT. RADIO STUDIO . COFFEE HOUSE N SIER’S LIVING RO : W OF FRASIER’S G 2ND UNIT: INT. CAB INT. CHEN EXT. PARK EXT. NEWSSTAND EXT. SEATTLE STREET

FRASIER - "The Good Son" $#60181-098 ACT ONE Scene A (1) TO BE SHOT AT A LATER DATE DAY/1 *% 2ND UNIT ** (Man #1 (V.0.)) INT. CAB - DAY (Woman #1 (V.0.)) INT. KITCHEN - DAY (Man #2 (V.0.)) EXT. PARK - DAY (Woman #2 (V.0.)) EXT. NEWSSTAND - DAY (Woman #3 (V.0.)) Scene B (3) INT. RADIO STUDIO - DAY DAY/1 (Frasier, Roz, Russell (V.0.)) Scene C (8) EXT. SEATTLE STREET - DAY DAY/1 *% 2ND UNIT ** (Niles (V.0.)) INT. COFFEE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS (9) (Niles, Frasier, Waitress, DAY/1 Extras) Scene D (14) INT. FRASIER’S LIVING ROOM - DAY DAY/2 (Frasier, Niles, Martin, Deliveryman) Scene E (21) INT. FRASIER’S LIVING NIGHT/2 ROOM - NIGHT (Martin, Frasier, Eddie) END OF ACT ONE

FRASIER - "The Good Son" #60181-098 Page Two ACT TWO Scene H (22) INT. COFFEE HOUSE - DAY (Niles, Frasier, Extras) Scene J MONTAGE (25) INT. HALLWAY OF FRASIER'’S DAY/4 BUILDING - DAY (Frasier, Extras) RESET TO: INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER (25) (Frasier, Extras) DAY/4 RESET TO: INT. FRASIER’S LIVING (26) ROOM - DAY (Frasier, Martin, Eddie, Daphne) Scene K (37) INT. RADIO STUDIO - LATER DAY/4 THAT DAY (Frasier, Roz, Martin (Vv.0.), Claire (V.0.)) Scene L (44) INT. FRASIER’S LIVING NIGHT/4 ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT (Frasier, Martin, Eddie, Daphne) END OF ACT TWO

FRASIER "The Good Son" #60181-098 ACT ON TO BE SHOT AT A LATER DATE (2nd Unit) A BLACK SCREEN. IN WHITE LETTERS APPEARS "THE JOB." MAN #1 (V.0.) a long time listener, first time caller. My problem began when I... FADE IN: MONTAGE - (V.0.’S) - DAY/1 . C = Y A CABBIE IS LISTENING TO HIS RADIO. WOMAN #1 (V.0.) I don’‘t know him anymore. It’s like living with a stranger. Take yesterday... CROSS FADE TO:

(A) . KIT =D A MESSY KITCHEN, A FRAZZLED HOUSEWIFE AND A SCREAMING INFANT IN A HIGHCHAIR. THE RADIO IS ON. MAN #2 (V.0.) At least I thought I had a normal childhood. Aw, hell, who knows what’s normal anymore. I... CROSS FADE TO: . — DAY A MAN JOGS IN THE PARK. HE’S LISTENING TO HIS WALKMAN. WOMAN #2 (V.O0.) (BLUBBERING) I’m sorry, I thought I had this under control. I, I, I... Give me a minute. THE JOGGER ROLLS HIS EYES. CROSS FADE TO: EXT. NEWSSTAND - DAY A NEWSSTAND, FEATURING A PORTABLE RADIO NEXT TO THE CASH REGISTER. A COAT HANGAR IS USED AS AN ANTENNA. WOMAN #3 (V.0.) (THICK MIDDLE EASTERN ACCENT) I tell him, "I’m a human being. I’m a human being. You can’t treat me like a dog." You’ve got to help me, Dr. Crane. CROSS FADE TO:

I INT. RADIO STUDIO - DAY - DAY/1 (Frasier, Roz, Russell (V.0.)) KACL - A TYPICAL RADIO STUDIO: TWO ROOMS SEPARATED BY A GLASS PARTITION AND A DOOR. ON ONE SIDE, FRASIER CRANE IS SEATED AT A DESK WITH A MULTI-LINE PHONE AND MICROPHONE. HE IS WEARING HEADPHONES. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLASS IS HIS CALL SCREENER, ROZ DOYLE. ANOTHER GLASS PARTITION IN THE STUDIO LOOKS OUT INTO THE HALLWAY. THE LIGHTS ARE LOW. FRASIER IS IN THE MIDDLE OF ANSWERING A CALLER. FRASIER (FIRMLY, WITH CONCERN) Listen to yourself, Bob. You follow her to work. You eavesdrop on her calls. You open her mail. The minute you started doing those things, the relationship was over. Thank you for your call. HE PUNCHES A BUTTON ON THE CONSOLE. FRASIER (CONT’D) Roz, do we have time for one more?

(B) ROZ SPEAKS INTO THE MICROPHONE IN THE BOOTH IN A SOOTHING RADIO VOICE. ROZ Yes, Dr. Crane. On line four we have Russell from Kirkland. He feels like he’s caught in a rut. FRASIER PUSHES A BUTTON ON THE PHONE. FRASIER This is Doctor Frasier Crane. I'm listening. RUSSELL (V.O.) Well, I’ve been feeling, sort of, you know, depressed lately. FRASIER For how long? RUSSELL (V.O.) Oh, the last seven or eight years. FRASIER Go on. RUSSELL (V.0.) I don’t know, my life’s not going anywhere. 1It’s not that it’s bad. It’s just the same old apartment, the same old job, the same old people, day after day. Sometimes I just... ROZ SIGNALS FROM THE BOOTH THAT TIME IS RUNNING SHORT AND FRASIER HAS TO WRAP THIS UP.

FRASIER Russell, we’re nearing the end of our hour. Let me see if I can cut to the chase by using myself as an example. Six months ago I was living in Boston. My wife had left me, which was very painful, then she came back, which was excruciating. I thought I could forgive her indiscretion but there was this nagging little hint of resentment, this minute lack of trust, this overwhelming desire to shove a grapefruit in her face. On top of that, my practice had grown stagnant and my social life consisted of hanging around a bar night after night. Suddenly I realized I was clinging to a life that wasn’t working anymore. I knew I had to do something, anything. So I put an end to the marriage and moved back here to my hometown of Seattle. Go Seahawks! I took action, Russell and you can too. Move, change, do something. If it’s a mistake, do something else. Will you do that, Russell? Will you? Russell? (TURNING TO ROZ) I think we lost him. (B)

(B) ROZ No, we cut to the news about thirty seconds ago. FRASIER TAKES OFF HIS HEADSET, GETS UP AND HEADS INTO ROZ'’S CONTROL ROOM. FRASIER Oh, for crying out loud. I finally bare my soul to all of Seattle and they’re listening to "Chopper Dave’s Rush-Hour Roundup"? At least the rest of the show was good. (THEN) It was a good show, wasn’t it? ROZ Here. (HANDS HIM A SLIP OF PAPER) Your brother called. FRASIER You know, in the trade, we call that avoidance. Don’t change the subject. What did you think? SHE POINTS TO HER CONSOLE. ROZ Did I ever show you what this button does? FRASIER I’'m not a piece of Lalique. I can handle criticism. How was I today?

ROZ Let’s see. You dropped two commercials, you left a total of twenty-eight seconds of dead air, you scrambled the call letters, you spilled yogurt on the control board and you kept referring to Jerry with the identity crisis as "Jeff." FRASIER (PAUSE) You say my brother called. CUT TO: (B)

0 A BLACK SCREEN. IN WHITE LETTERS APPEARS "“"THE BROTHER." NILES (V.0.) So I said to the gardner, "Yoshi, I do not need a Zen garden in my backyard. FADE IN: - Y - DAY = NIT (Niles (V.0.)) A CITY BUS IS STOPPED, PICKING UP PASSENGERS. ON THE SIDE OF THE BUS IS A LARGE ADVERTISEMENT. ON IT IS FRASIER’S SMILING FACE AND THE WORDS "DR. FRASIER CRANE. HE LISTENS. KACL - 780 AM." THE BUS PULLS AWAY TO REVEAL "CAFE NERVOSA," ONE OF SEATTLE’S POPULAR COFFEE HOUSES. NILES (V.O.) (CONT’D) If I want to rake gravel every ten minutes to maintain my inner harmony, I’1l move to Yokohama." CUT TO:

INT. COFFEE HOUSE - CONTINUOUS - DAY/1 (Niles, Frasier, Waitress, Extras) FRASIER AND HIS BROTHER, NILES CRANE, STAND AT THE COUNTER. FRASIER HAS HIS NOSE IN A MENU. NILES (CONT’D) Well, this offends him so he starts pulling up Maris’ prized camellias by the handful. I couldn’t stand for that, so I marched right into the morning room and locked the door until he cooled down. Tell me you would have handled it differently, Frasier. AFTER A BEAT, FRASIER LOOKS UP. FRASIER Oh, I’m sorry, Niles, I didn’t realize you’d stopped talking. NILES You haven’t listened to a word I said. FRASIER Niles, you’re a psychiatrist. You know what it’s like to listen to people prattling on endlessly about their mundane lives. NILES Touche. And on that subject, I heard your show today.

THEY BOTH FRASIER And? NILES You know what I think about pop psychiatry. FRASIER Yes, yes; I know what you think about everything. When was the last time you had an unexpressed thought? NILES I’'m having one now. CHUCKLE GOOD-NATUREDLY. A WAITRESS APPROACHES. WAITRESS You guys ready? FRASIER (TO WAITRESS) Two cafe latte supremos. NILES MOVES TO A CHAIR AND BEGINS TO DUST IT OFF WITH A HANDKERCHIEF. HE OFFERS IT TO FRASIER. FRASIER (CONT’D) No, thank you. NILES So, Frasier, how are you doing on your own? FRASIER I’'m fine. I love my new life. I love the solitude. I miss Frederick like the dickens, of course. He’s quite a boy. He’s playing goalie on the pee wee soccer team now. He’s a chip off the old block. 10.

THEY BOTH NILES You hated sports. FRASIER And so does he, but the fresh air’s good for him. LAUGH AT THIS. NILES This has been fun, Frasier, but we have a problem. That’s why I thought we should talk. FRASIER Our Dad? NILES I’m afraid so. One of his old buddies from the police force called this morning. He went over to see him. Found him on the bathroom floor. FRASIER Oh my God. NILES No, it’s okay, he’s fine. FRASIER His hip again? NILES NODS. NILES Frasier, I don’t think he can live alone anymore. 11. (©)

12. FRASIER What can we do? NILES Well, I know this isn’t going to be anyone’s favorite solution, but I took the liberty of checking out a few convalescent homes for him. HE REACHES INTO HIS BRIEFCASE AND TAKES OUT A PILE OF PAMPHLETS. * FRASIER A home? He’s still a young man. NILES Well, you certainly can’t take care of him. You’re just getting your new life together. FRASIER * Absolutely. Besides, we’ve never been sympatico. When I was a child I once rode in the car with him from Seattle to Spokane and the only thing he said to me was, "I think we’ve got a problem with your brother Frasier." NILES Yes, well, and, of course, I can’t take care of him. FRASIER Yes, of course, of course. (BEAT) Why?

13. (C) NILES Dad doesn’t get along with Maris. FRASIER Who does? NILES I you liked Maris. FRASIER I do. I like her from a distance. You know, the way you like the sun. Maris is like the sun... except without the warmth. NILES PICKS UP A PAMPHLET FROM THE TABLE. NILES (READING) "Golden Acres". People in golf carts on their way to oblivion. FRASIER (RESIGNED) Alright, I’1l make up the guest room. NILES You’re a good son, Frasier. FRASIER Oh God, I am, aren’t I? FRASIER BURIES HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS AS NILES COMFORTS HIM. CUT TO:

14. o A BLACK SCREEN. 1IN WHITE LETTERS APPEARS "THE FATHER." FADE IN: S ‘S LIVING - DAY - D (Frasier, Niles, Martin, Deliveryman) IT’S A SMART, CLEAN, METICULOUSLY DECORATED CONDO. THE FURNISHINGS LEAN TOWARD THE CONTEMPORARY, WITH WELL CHOSEN PIECES OF ART AND SCULPTURE. CENTER IS A VIEW OF THE SEATTLE SKYLINE. THERE IS A KNQCK AT THE DOOR. FRASIER, AT THE PIANO, GOES TO THE DOOR. HE STEELS HIMSELF AND OPENS THE DOOR. NILES IS STANDING THERE WITH A FEW SUITCASES IN HIS HAND. NILES We finally made it. NILES ENTERS FOLLOWED BY THEIR FATHER, MARTIN, USING A WALKER. FRASIER Ah, Dad, welcome to your new home. You look great.

15. (D) MARTIN Don’t B.S. me. I do not look great. I spent Monday on the bathroom floor. You can still see the tile marks on my face. NILES (SOTTO TO FRASIER) Gives you some idea about the ride over in the car. FRASIER CLAPS HIS HANDS AND RUBS THEM TOGETHER, TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOMENT. FRASIER Well, here we are. Now, Dad, rest assured the refrigerator is stocked with your favorite beer, Ballantines, and we’ve got plenty of hot links and cole slaw. I even rented a Charles Bronson movie for later. MARTIN You can cut the "Welcome to Camp Crane" speech. We all know why I’'m here. Your old man can’t be trusted to be alone for ten minutes without falling on his ass, and Frasier got stuck with me. 1Isn’t that right? FRASIER AND NILES LOOK AT EACH OTHER. FRASIER/NILES No, no, no.

16. (D) FRASIER (CONT’D) I want you here. It will give us an opportunity to get reacquainted. MARTIN That implies we were acquainted at one point. NILES Listen, why don‘t I take Dad’s things into his new "bachelor quarters" so you two scoundrels can plan some hijinx? NILES EXITS WITH THE BAGS DOWN THE HALLWAY TO THE BEDROOM. MARTIN I think that wife of his is making him nutso. FRASIER Yes, we Crane boys sure know how to marry, don’t we? (THEN) Dad, let me get you a beer. FRASIER CROSSES TO THE KITCHEN. MARTIN LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM. FRASIER (CONT'’D) So, do you like what I’ve done with the place? Every piece was carefully chosen. The lamp, Corbu. The chair by Eames. This sofa is an exact replica of the one Coco Chanel had in her Paris atelier.

17. (D) MARTIN Nothing matches. FRASIER It’s a style of decorating. 1It’s called eclectic. The theory behind it is, if you have great pieces of furniture, it doesn’t matter if they match. They’ll go together. MARTIN It’s your money. MARTIN WALKS OVER TO THE WINDOW AND GAZES AT THE SKYLINE. E FRASIER (INDICATING) That’s the Space Needle over there. MARTIN Thank you for pointing that out. Being born and raised here, I never would have known that. AS NILES RE-ENTERS FROM THE OTHER ROOM, FRASIER CROSSES TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT. IT’S A DELIVERYMAN. DELIVERYMAN Delivery for Martin Crane. MARTIN In here. DELIVERYMAN Coming through. FRASIER STEPS BACK. THE DELIVERYMAN BRINGS IN A BARCALOUNGER.

FRASIER Excuse me, excuse me. Wait a DELIVERYMAN Where do you want it? MARTIN Where’s the TV? FRASIER (INDICATING) In that credenza. MARTIN Point it at that thing. DELIVERYMAN What about this chair? NILES Here. Let me get it out of th NILES PICKS UP THE CHAIR AND MOVES IT. REPLACES IT WITH MARTIN’S BARCALOUNGER. FRASIER Careful. That’s a Wassily. ( LOUNGER) Dad, Dad, as dear as sure this piece is to you, I d minute. e way. THE DELIVERYMAN RE: I'm on’t think it quite goes with anything here. MARTIN I know. It’s eclectic. MARTIN PAYS THE DELIVERYMAN. HE EXITS. FRASIER Niles, help me out here. 18. (D)

19. (D) NILES I like it. FRASIER GRABS NILES BY THE SHIRT AND PULLS HIM ASIDE. FRASIER I see right through you. You’re agreeing with the old man because you’re afraid he might ask to live with you and Maris. NILES (RE: SHIRT) Please, Frasier, you’re scrunching my Tommy Hilfiger. FRASIER Listen, you little twit... MARTIN You’re going to have to run an extension cord over here so I can plug in the vibrating part. FRASIER (BEATEN) Yes, yes, that will be the crowning touch. NILES Now that you two are settled in, I‘ve got to run. I’m late for my dysfunctional family seminar. AS HE HEADS FOR THE DOOR: NILES (CONT'’D) Dad, have you mentioned Eddie yet?

20. (D) FRASIER TURNS TO MARTIN. FRASIER (PANICKED) Eddie? NILES Ta ta. NILES EXITS. FRASIER Oh, Dad, no. Not Eddie. MARTIN He’s my best friend. Hand me my beer. FRASIER But he’s weird. He gives me the creeps. All he does is stare at me. MARTIN It’s your imagination. FRASIER No, Dad, no. I’'m sorry, but I’m putting my foot down. Eddie’s not moving in here. CUT TO:

21. A BLACK SCREEN. 1IN WHITE LETTERS APPEARS THE WORD, "EDDIE." CROSS FADE TO: 'S - - _NIG (Martin, Frasier, Eddie) MARTIN IS SITTING IN HIS BARCALOUNGER WATCHING THE CHARLES BRONSON MOVIE. WE PAN OVER TO FRASIER ON HIS COCO COUCH. WE CONTINUE THE PAN. SITTING NEXT TO FRASIER IS EDDIE, A SMALL LONG-HAIRED JACK RUSSELL TERRIER. EDDIE STARES AT FRASIER. FADE OUT. OF A ON.

22. ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. COFFEE HOUSE - DAY - DAY/3 (Niles, Frasier, Extras) NILES IS THERE, FRASIER RUSHES IN. FRASIER oOoh, Niles, there you are. Sorry I'm late. Just as I was leaving, Dad started a small kitchen fire in the living room. NILES The living room? FRASIER Don’t ask. (BEAT) This last week with Dad has been a living hell. When I’m there, I feel like my (MORE)

23, (H) FRASIER (CONT’D) territory is being violated and when I’'m away, I worry about what he’s up to. My nerves are completely shot. I’ve got to do something to calm down. (TO WAITRESS) Double espresso, please. (TO NILES) You don’t still have the brochures from those rest homes, do you? NILES Of course I do. You’re forgetting Maris is five years older than I am. But do you really think that’s necessary? FRASIER Yes, I do. I don’t have a life anymore. Tuesday I gave up my tickets to the theatre. Wednesday, it was the symphony. NILES That reminds me, weren’t you going to the opera on Friday? FRASIER TAKES TWO TICKETS OUT OF HIS POCKET. FRASIER Yes. Here.

24. (H) NILES Thank you. (LOOKING AT TICKETS) Die Fledermaus. (THEN) You know, have you ever considered hiring a home care worker? Someone who cooks, and cleans, who can help him with his therapy. FRASIER Look, the last thing I need is someone else under foot. NILES No, no, someone part-time. That’s the beauty of it. They’ll only be there when you’re not. FRASIER These angels exist? NILES I know an agency in town who has good people. Let me arrange to have them send a few over to meet you. FRASIER I don’t know how to thank you. I’'m going to have my life again. I‘m going to have my sanity again. I’m going to Die Fledermaus again. FRASIER SNAPS THE TICKETS AWAY FROM NILES. CUT TO:

I~ A BLACK SCREEN. IN WHITE LETTERS APPEARS "THE HEALTH CARE WORKER. " FADE IN: MONTAGE W, SIER’ U G - = (Frasier, Extras) A QUICK SEQUENCE OF FRASIER BIDDING FAREWELL TO A NUMBER OF APPLICANTS WITH PLEASANTRIES SUCH AS "“THANK YOU VERY MUCH," "YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM US," "IT’S BEEN A PLEASURE." RESET TO: T. - T TER - DAY/4 (Frasier, Extras) ANOTHER APPLICANT. SHE APPEARS ROBUST, KIND, NEATLY DRESSE THE EPITOME OF COMPETENCE. FRASIER I’ve never been more impressed with any human being in my entire life. It has truly been an honor to meet you. 25. D:

26. (7) FRASIER CLOSES THE DOOR. FRASIER (CONT’D) (0.S.) (BLOWING UP) Now what was wrong with that one?!! THE WOMAN REACTS AND WALKS AWAY. RESET TO: ‘'S VING ROOM - D = (Frasier, Martin, Eddie, Daphne) MARTIN She was casing the joint. FRASIER Casing the joint? She spent two years with Mother Teresa. MARTIN Well, if I were Mother Teresa, I’d check my jewelry box. SFX: THE DOORBELL RINGS. FRASIER This is the last one. Can you at least try to keep an open mind? MARTIN I hate this whole stinking idea. FRASIER There, was that so difficult? FRASIER OPENS THE DOOR TO REVEAL DAPHNE MOON, AN ENGLISH WORKING CLASS WOMAN IN HER MID TO LATE TWENTIES. AT THIS MOMENT, SHE IS REACHING INTO HER BLOUSE AND ADJUSTING HER BRA.

27. (3) DAPHNE Oh hello. Caught me with my hand in the biscuit tin. (EXTENDING HER HAND) I’m Daphne. Daphne Moon. FRASIER (THEY SHAKE) Frasier Crane. Won’t you come in? DAPHNE Thank you. SHE ENTERS. FRASIER This is my father, Martin Crane. Dad, this is Daphne Moon. THEY EXCHANGE GREETINGS. DAPHNE (RE: EDDIE) And who would this be? FRASIER That is Eddie. MARTIN I call him Eddie Spaghetti. DAPHNE Oh, he likes pasta? MARTIN No, he has worms. FRASIER Uh, have a seat, Miss Moon.

28. (J) DAPHNE Daphne. Thank you. (RE: BARCALOUNGER) Oh, will you look at that. What a comfy chair. Like I always say, start with a good piece and replace the rest (INDICATING FRASIER'’S FURNITURE) when you can afford it. SHE SMILES AT FRASIER. SO DOES MARTIN. FRASIER Uh, yes, well, um, Miss Moon, tell us a little bit about yourself. DAPHNE Well, I’m originally from Manchester, England. FRASIER Oh really. Did you hear that, Dad? MARTIN I'm three feet away. There’s nothing wrong with my hearing. DAPHNE only been in the U.S. for a few months but I have quite an extensive background in home care and physical therapy, as you can see from my resume. I also... SHE LOOKS AT MARTIN.

29. DAPHNE (CONT’D) You were a policeman, weren’t you? MARTIN Yeah. How did you know? DAPHNE I must I'm a bit psychic. Nothing big. Just little things I sense about people. It’s not like I can pick the lottery. If I could, I wouldn’t be talking to the likes of you two, now would I? SHE LAUGHS. MARTIN FINDS THAT AMUSING. FRASIER Perhaps I should describe the duties around here. You would be responsible for... DAPHNE (TO FRASIER) Wait a minute, getting something on you. You’re a florist. FRASIER No, I'm a psychiatrist. DAPHNE Well, it comes and goes. Usually it’s strongest during my time of the month. Oh, I guess I let out a little secret there, didn’t I?

FRASIER It’s safe with us. (CHECKING WATCH) Well, I think we’ve learned everything we need to know about you. And a dash extra. Thank you very much. We’ll be in touch. DAPHNE (TO MARTIN) You must be very proud of your son the psychiatrist. MARTIN Sons. Two sons. Two shrinks. They took after their mother, rest her soul. She was one too. It was quite a household. I couldn’t scratch myself without being analyzed. DAPHNE We Brits don’t believe much in psychiatry. I mean, isn’‘t that what friends are for? FRASIER That'’s very quaint. DAPHNE (TO EDDIE) You’re a dog, aren’t you? FRASIER Well, we’ll be calling you, Miss Moon. 30. (3)

31. (3) MARTIN Why wait? You’re hired. DAPHNE Oh wonderful! FRASIER Excuse me. Aren’t we getting ahead of ourselves, here? I think we should discuss this. Privately. DAPHNE Oh, of course you should. I completely understand. I’1ll just pop into the loo. You do have one, don’t you? FRASIER (INDICATING) Yes. DAPHNE I love America. DAPHNE EXITS. FRASIER Dad, what do you think you’re doing? MARTIN You wanted me to pick one... I picked one. FRASIER But she’s a kook. I don’‘t like her.

MARTIN What does it matter? She’s only going to be here when you’re not. FRASIER Then what’s my problem? (CALLING) Daphne. DAPHNE RE-ENTERS. FRASIER (CONT’D) You’ve been retained. DAPHNE Oh, wonderful. I had a premonition I would. 1I’ll move my things in tomorrow. FRASIER Wait a minute. Move in? There must be some misunderstanding. This isn’t a live-in position. DAPHNE Oh dear. The lady at the agency said... FRASIER Well, the lady at the agency was wrong. This is a part-time position. What a shame. We were getting along so well. FRASIER STARTS TO USHER HER OUT. 32.

MARTIN Wait a minute, Frasier. I want to talk about this. FRASIER Dad, there’s nothing to discuss. DAPHNE I’11 just pop back in here and enjoy some more of your African erotic art. DAPHNE HEADS FOR THE BATHROOM. SHE EXITS. MARTIN Check out the one over the towel rack. You gotta be young to try that. FRASIER Perhaps it’s best if you leave. DAPHNE Well, all right. FRASIER We’ll contact you. If not by telephone, then through the toaster. FRASIER I am not having another person living in this house. MARTIN Give me one good reason why. 33. (3)

FRASIER Well, for one thing there’s no room for her. MARTIN What about the room across the hall from miné? FRASIER My study?! You expect me to give up my study? Where I read, where I do my most profound thinking? MARTIN Use the can like the rest of the world. (THEN) adjust. FRASIER I don‘t want to adjust. I’ve done enough adjusting. I‘m in a new city, I have a new job, I’m freshly divorced and now my father and his dog are living with me. I think that’s enough on my plate. The whole idea of getting someone in here was to help ease my burden, not to add to it. MARTIN Did you hear that, Eddie? We'’re a burden. 34. (7

FRASIER Dad, you’re twisting my words. I meant burden in its most positive sense. MARTIN Oh, as in "gee what a lovely burden?" FRASIER Something like that, yes. MARTIN Hey, you’re not the only one getting screwed here. Two years ago sailing toward retirement and some punk robbing a convenience store puts a bullet in my hip. Next thing you know, I’m trading my golf clubs in for one of these. (HE HOLDS UP THE WALKER) I had a lot of plans too, you know, and this may come as a shock, Sonny Boy, but one of them wasn’t living with you. FRASIER I'm just trying to do the right thing here, trying to be the good son. MARTIN Oh, don‘t worry, after I’m gone, you can live guilt-free knowing that you’ve done right by your papa. 35.

36. FRASIER That’s what you think this is all about, guilt? MARTIN Isn’t it? FRASIER Of course it is! But the point is, I did it. I took you in. And got news for you... I wanted to do it. Because you’re my father. And you know how you repay me? Ever since you moved in here, it’s been a snide comment about this or a smart little put-down about that. I’ve done my best to make a new home for you here and once, just once, would it have killed you to say thank you? One lousy thank you? THERE’S A PAUSE. MARTIN C’mon, Eddie. 1It’s past your dinner time. HE AND EDDIE EXIT TO THE KITCHEN. FRASIER ANGRILY EXITS, SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. CUT TO:

37. = A BLACK SCREEN. IN WHITE LETTERS APPEARS "LUPE VELEZ." FADE IN: - THAT - 4 (Frasier, Roz, Martin (V.0.), Claire (V.0.)) FRASIER COMES BLASTING IN TO HIS BOOTH. FRASIER They have got to move the bathroom closer to the studio! HE FLINGS HIMSELF INTO THE CHAIR AND PUTS ON HIS HEADPHONES. ROZ POINTS TO HIM. HE SPEAKS INTO THE MICROPHONE. FRASIER (CONT'’D) I’11 be right back after these messages. HE PUNCHES A BUTTON ON THE CONSOLE.

FRASIER (CONT'’D) (TO ROZ, IRRITATED) Could I perhaps put that on tape? ROZ What'’s eating you? FRASIER This thing with my father and this person he wants to hire... I thought I was starting my life over with a clean slate. I had this picture of the way things were going to be and then, I don’t know... ROZ Ever heard of Lupe Velez? FRASIER Who? ROZ Lupe Velez. The movie star in the thirties. The Mexican Spitfire. Her career hit the skids so she decided to take one final stab at immortality. She figured if she couldn’t be remembered for her movies, she’d be remembered for the (MORE) 3s. (K)

ROZ (CONT’D) way she died. And all Lupe wanted was to be remembered. So she plans this lavish suicide. Flowers, candles, silk sheets, white satin gown, full hair and make-up, the works. She takes an overdose of pills, lays on the bed and imagines how beautiful she’s going to look on the front page of tomorrow’s newspaper. Unfortunately, the pills didn’t set well with the enchilada combo plate she sadly chose as her last meal. She stumbles toward the bathroom, trips and falls head first into the toilet. And that’s how they found her. FRASIER Is there a reason you’‘re telling me this? ROZ Yeah. Even though things may not happen like we planned, they can work out anyway. 39. (K)

40. (K) FRASIER Remind me again how it worked for Lupe, last seen with her head in the toilet? ROZ All she wanted was to be remembered. (BEAT) Will you ever forget that story? ROZ GOES BACK INTO HER BOOTH, LOOKS AT THE CLOCK AND POINTS AT FRASIER. FRASIER Welcome back. Roz, who’s our next caller? ROZ We have Martin on line one. He'’s having a problem with his son. FRASIER Hello, Martin. I’m listening. MARTIN (V.O.) I'm a first time caller. FRASIER STIFFENS. FRASIER Welcome to the program. How can I help you? MARTIN (V.O0.) I just moved in with my son and, uh, it ain’t working. There’s a lot of tension between us.

FRASIER I can imagine. Why do you think that’s so? MARTIN (V.O.) I guess maybe I didn’t see he had a nice new life planned out for himself and I kind of got in the way. FRASIER You know these things are a two way street. Perhaps your son wasn’t sensitive enough to see how your life was changing. MARTIN (V.O.) You got that right. 1I’ve been telling him that ever since I got there. FRASIER I’m sure he appreciated your candor. MARTIN (V.0.) But maybe sometimes I‘ve got to learn to keep my trap shut. FRASIER That’s good advice for us all. Anything else? 41. (K)

MARTIN (V.O.) I'm worried my son doesn’t know that I really appreciate what he’s done for me. FRASIER Why don’t you tell him? MARTIN (V.O.) You know how it is with fathers and sons. We always have a hard time saying that stuff. Well, FRASIER if it helps, I suspect your son already knows how you feel. THERE IS A PAUSE. FRASIER (CONT’D) Is that all? MARTIN (V.O.) I guess that’s it. Thank you, Doctor Crane. FRASIER My pleasure, Martin. MARTIN (V.O.) Did you hear what I said? I said, thank you. FRASIER Yes, I heard. MARTIN HANGS UP. FRASIER JUST SITS THERE WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING. ROZ INTERRUPTS. 42. (K)

ROZ Uh, Doctor Crane? We have Claire on line four. She’s having trouble getting over a break up. FRASIER Hello, Claire. 1I’'m listening. CLAIRE (V.O.) I’m, uh, well, I’m a mess. Eight months ago, my boyfriend and I broke up and I can’t get over it. The pain isn’t going away. It’s almost like I’m in mourning. FRASIER Claire, you are in mourning. But you’re not mourning the loss of your boyfriend... AS FRASIER CONTINUES THE CALL, WE: CROSS FADE TO: 43. (K)

It ‘'S VING ROOM - LA THAT NIG (Frasier, Martin, Eddie, Daphne) WE PAN ACROSS THE APARTMENT TO SEE FRASIER AND HIS NEW "FAMILY" WATCHING TV. MARTIN IS SITTING IN HIS BARCALOUNGER. EDDIE, FRASIER AND DAPHNE ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH. FRASIER (V.O.) You’re mourning what you thought your life was going to be. Let it go. Things don’t always happen how you plan. 1It’s not necessarily bad. It doesn’t mean things won’t work out anyway. EDDIE PUTS ONE PAW ON FRASIER’S LEG. FRASIER (CONT’D) (V.O.) Have you ever heard of Lupe Velez? FADE OUT. END OF ACT TWO