acon M. “ boondocks ACT ONE EXT. FREEMAN HOUSE - NIGHT. Establishing shot of the Freeman household. Whe sound of a sitcom laugh track. WOMAN’S VOICE #1 Shaquanda, that was my pork’ sandwich! Look what you did! We hear more of the laugh track. WOMAN’S VOICE #2 No it wasn’t, Moniqua, that pork sandwich was all mine! do we get out of this mess We hear the laugh track agon . INT. FREEMAN LIVING RooM~ On television we see two overweight’ black women stuck in a doorway. They are na to free themselves but can’t move. A LITTLE KID enters. SHAQUANDA andre! Me and Moniqua was racing for a pork sandwich and got. stuck! Ge gt Ty two-way pager so I can two-way for help! And while you’re at if bring me my french fry milkshake. Move laughter.

RILEY FREEMAN, 8 is sits before the television, as HUEY FREEMAN stands behind him, shaking his head. HUEY I don’t ever need to see another black Person on television. RILEY Man, this show is funny! HUEY This show sets us back three- hundred and thirty seven years. We’ll all be slaves again before this show is over. you tired of watching black people look stupid? RILEY Not if it’s funny. HUEY So, tell me what’s your favorite show on TV. RILEY Eve. HUEY Alright. What’s your next favorite show? RILEY Next weeks Eve,

HUEY You’re an idiot. Why don’t you elevate yourself. Watch the news! Read dummy! RILEY Read?! Show me one person that reads and gets hoes. Beat. HUEY Give me the remote. RILEY Take it from me. I’11 chop your body up and hide it in the mattress like drug money. Huey smacks Riley. Riley swings back. GRANDDAD (0.C.) Boys! GRANDDAD, also known as ROBERT FREEMAN, sixty-something, Black, approaches. GRANDDAD : How many. times have I told you two to stop fighting in this house! You're too damn loud and you bleed on my carpet. You wanna fight, you do it outside! C’mon...time for bed.

INT. BOY’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER. Granddad stands between the boys beds. The boys are under the covers, sitting up. | GRANDDAD Now. ¥’all wanna hear a bedtime story? It’s about a wonderful man who was enjoying the fourth quarter of his life until two mean little kids came along, and all they did was fight and be bad. RILEY What were their names? Granddad looks at Riley like he’s stupid. GRANDDAD Anyway, this old man tried to do the right thing for these boys by using every last dollar he had to get them a big house in the suburbs so they would be safe..And all the ‘old man wanted to do was watch Maury Povich, have a ladyfriend over every now and then, and do them little projects that Martha Stewart do on TV. But the boys just kept fighting. (MORE)

GRANDDAD Only the bad news is, they didn’t kill each other, they ended up killing the kind old man. The end. He glares at Huey. HUEY Why are you staring at me? He starts the fights! GRANDDAD ‘Cause he likes being stupid. RILEY Yeah! Granddad shoots him another look. GRANDDAD (to Huey) You older and you supposed to be the smart one, even though you know it lookin’ at your Now I’m serious, y'all fight too much! Good night. Granddad exits. Huey and Riley exchange scornful looks, then lay down and close. their eyes. Tight shot of Huey as he falls asleep. EXT. ALIEN PLANET 2 We pan across a desolate alien landscape. Bizarre planetary formations reach hundreds of feet into the sky.

oN ANGLE - HUEY Huey, dressed as a Jedi knight, leaps from one of the planetary formations. Below him, the STORMTROOPERS scan the area, Huey ignites his orange lightsaber in midair and hits the ground swinging. ‘ HUEY HA HAA!!! Huey fights against an army. of stormtroopers. Entering from above is JEDI MASTER MACE WINDU. MACE WINDU How many times have I told you not to rush into conflict! You fight only when necessary! HUEY Oh yeah? Well maybe you should worry less about what I’m doing and more about the roles you choose. I mean, “Deep Blue Sea?”? ‘One Eight Seven”? And don’t even get me started on “Great White Hype”. MACE WINDU Excuse me?! The stormtroopers look to one another. | 1 STORMTROOPERS Ooooochhhhhh!

MACE WINDU Do you know how many years of propping up white boys and listening to Spike Lee it took to get to where I am right now?! Huey feigns playing a violin with his lightsaber. HUEY Oh, poor wittle Sam Jackson... Mace, now sporting a. wet jheri curl, more resembles “Jules” from “Pulp Fiction”. Sam Jackson/Mace Windu brandishes his lightsaber towards Huey. SAM JACKSON/MACE WINDU I'm tryin’ to help, you little [expletive deleted]! This is why [expletive deleted] black people can't get ‘no- [expletive deleted]- where! They fight. CU as the tip of the lightsaber touches Sam’s greasy hair, igniting it. SAM JACKSON/MACE WINDU ( SCREAM) STORMTROOPERS (GASP) HUEY See? Big bad Sam Jackson. Now you got a jheri curl fire on you héad.

Sam smothers the grease fire on his head. He charges, wearing a look of fury. Huey’s expression chariges from tough to terrified. Mace/Sam swings his lightsaber and... i MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE 4 INT. BOYS ROOM - MORNING. 5 Huey sits up, startled. Granddad stands over the hed. GRANDDAD I had the dream again. HUEY (rubbing his eyes) The one with you and Dorothy Dandridge or the one with you and Nancy Reagan? GRANDDAD The one where that rapper - what’s his name - thirty cents - HUEY 50 Cent. Granddad walks over to Riley and pulls back the covers, revealing Riley’s feet. GRANDDAD (to Huey) Yeah Fifty-Seven Cent. (MORE)

GRANDDAD (cont’d) So anyway Fifty-Four Cent is chasing me around my bedroom, and he keeps yelling “go shorty, it’s ya‘ birfday”, but it ain’t my birthday. And I just don’t know what he wants with me, Huey! Granddad whacks Riley’s feet with his cane. Riley sits up, yelling. GRANDDAD (exiting the room) Well, time for school. INT. LIVING ROOM LATER. GRANDDAD Boys!! Boys hurry up! C’mon now! INT. BOY‘S BEDROOM - SAME. Tight shot of Riley in the mirror, making thug faces and “jail” poses. Behind him, in the mirror, Huey shakes his head. HUEY If you would get out of the mirror we might have time to get a game in before the bus comes. _ RILEY You just gonna lose, but let’s go!

10. 8 INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER. 8 The boys run down the stairs together. 9 ANGLE - FEET. 9 Huey steps on Riley’s white shoe, leaving a scuff mark. RILEY Yo, hold up, man! You just stepped on my Air Force Ones! You blind fool?! HUEY Riley, you're not a thug. C’mon man, are you really that cliche that you’1l fight me for stepping on your Nikes? Beat. Riley attacks Huey. The fight spills into the living room. As they fight, they bump into Granddad, who has emerged in the doorway holding a plate of bacon. HUEY (to Granddad) This fool.started a fight - RILEY (to Granddad) This fool stomped all over -

11. GRANDDAD Shut up! You know, I would like to take this opportunity to say I could care less why y’all fighting. Both of you, have a seat. The boys sit. GRANDDAD I’d like to call our first family meeting. RILEY Family meeting? GRANDDAD It's an opportunity for us to air our differences as a family. I'll go first. As I was cooking my bacon this morning, I noticed... Granddad produces a spatula, at the end of which is a pair of . boys “tightey whiteys”. GRANDDAD (CONT‘D) ...these nice, slightly soiled underwear. From the size of your butts, it could belong to either ‘one of y’all, but that’s not important. What is important is that I don’t want dirty, funky drawz on my clean kitchen table! Now, if it happens again? (MORE)

GRANDDAD No underwear for a week! Now get out my house before the bus comes. HUEY We don’t like taking the bus. The driver doesn’t like us. GRANDDAD Old man Ruckus don’t like nobody. Hell, I don’t you like either. RILEY Can you drive us? GRANDDAD Oh yeah, I’11 drive you...I’1l drive y’all to the emergency room, to a boarding school, or even a funeral parlor, but I’11 be damned if I’m gonna take y’all a mile down the street! HUEY But we're two young black men in America! an endangered species! GRANDDAD You ain’t no wild condor! I tried to lower the odds of something happening to you by moving us into this neighborhood. If something happens, it’s will.

o~ 13. _ RILEY What if the Feds come after us? HUEY Or the Klan? GRANDDAD Hey, that’s the risk you take. This is America. Now Git! EXT. THE DUBOIS HOUSE - MORNING. - The boys walk past the DuBois home. DI (V.0.) 7:32 in the morning here on 102.7 WERK rise and shine, baby ... INT. DUBOIS HOUSE - FOYER - MORNING. We are tight on a picture of Bill Clinton and SARAH DUBOIS, smiling pleasantly. DI (V.0.) ...and we’d like to thank you and your little ones for gettin’ your FREAK on with us this Friday morning. Mmmmm ...that’s right... Adjacent is a framed picture of Bruce Springsteen and TOM DUBOIS. Tom wears a huge grin. INT. DUBOIS KITCHEN. SARAH DUBOIS leans against the counter drinking coffee and reading the paper.

12 “DI (FROM RADIO} You just heard R. Kelly’s new hit “Inappropriate”, and now on our Friday double-play, here’s another by R. Kelly called “Disturbing”. R. KELLY (singing) She was only fifteeeeen and ... Disgusted, Sarah turns off the radio. TOM, 35, and JAZMINE enter. Jazmine’s wearing a backpack. Sarah gives Jazmine her lunch. SARAH Here’s your lunch honey. Tom adjusts Jazmine’s coat. JAZMINE Daddy, the kids make fun of me. | TOM Well that kind of thing happens to everybody, honey. Don’t take it personally. JAZMINE It does? Did kids call you names? TOM Oh sure ... I remember kids would cali me “cornball” or uh, “nerd”, or maybe, uh “momma’s boy”.... 14... 12

JAZMINE Uh huh. TOM (progressively more upset) Or “Herb”, or “Poindexter”, or “Bryant Gumbel”, or “Oreo”! JAZMINE Uh huh. TOM (very upset) And they wanna laugh at you and call you “fruity-boy” when you were really just a big “Prince” fan~. Sarah touches Tom’s shoulder. SARAH Tom? ! TOM Oh! Hey...uh...yeah... JAZMINE Mom, Gid people make fun of you? SARAH Well, I was pretty popular - until “I started to date your dad. JAZMINE/TOM Really? 15.

SARAH (to Tom) Oh honey, you had to know you weren’t the coolest person on campus. TOM I was very popular with the ladies in college. SARAH You were a cheerleader. TOM (indignant) I was an acrobat! SARAH (CONT’D) And a very good one, too! Honey, I loved you regardless. Besides eventually you get sick of the bad boys and the athletes. I mean... there’s only so many starters on the basketball team - TOM The basketball team?! JAZMINE Um...I have to go catch the bus now. 16.

17. SARAH AND TOM (brightly) Bye As Jazmine walks out of the front door the debate continues. TOM The whole basketball team?! EXT. BUS STOP - MORNING. Several neighborhood, kids are standing around laughing and talking. Several feet over, Huey and Riley stand by themselves .. RILEY I wanted to get diamonds in my teeth, would I talk to a dentist or a jeweler? HUEY You really do reserve the right to be a nigga, don’t you? Riley puts his on headphones and nods to the music. Huey reads the newspaper. As Jazmine approaches the bus stop, she notices Huey and Riley standing apart from everyone else. RILEY Your girlfriend's here. HUEY (without looking up from paper) Jazmine is not my girlfriend.

18. RILEY I didn’t say Jazmine. How you know who I was talking about? Huh? Jazmine looks unsure as to which kids to stand with. Finally she approaches BRENDA, BILLY, BUDDY, CHARLIE and JENNIFER. Huey looks up, watches as Jazmine tries to stand with the kids, and shakes his head. JAZMINE Hello! BRENDA Wow ... another bad hair day, huh, Jazmine? The kids laugh. JENNIFER Hey Jazmine, if I pour water on your hair, will it grow? Like a “Chia Pet’? BILLY (singing) Chi-Chi-Chi Chia... The kids laugh. Jazmine walks over to Huey and Riley. JAZMINE Good morning, (yelling at the headphones) Good morning, Riley! Riley turns and gives her a

19. Jazmine stands next to Huey. She looks towards the neighborhood kids. JAZMINE They’re not very friendly, are they? Huey looks to the newspaper. JAZMINE All they do is make fun of my hair. I don’t know why, it’s just a © little frizzy. Huey sighs, shakes his head, and removes objects from her hair; A straw, half a crayon, and a gum wrapper. Huey shows her the garbage. She looks over at the neighborhood kids and they snicker. JAZMINE Why don‘t they like me? HUEY The better question is, why do you care? A school bus stops in front of the kids. cU on the faces of the neighborhood kids. The bus door slides | open and UNCLE RUCKUS,an old, dark-skinned Black man steps out, smiling broadly at the kids. NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS Uncle Ruckus!

20. UNCLE RUCKUS Goooood Mo’nin’ childrens! Now don’t y’all look like some little angels, yes do! We pan across the glowing faces of the boys and girls. Huey and Riley share a look of disgust. : i JENNIFER : i I drew a picture of you, Uncle Ruckus! The girl holds up a crude drawing of a black face with big white eyes and pink lips. \ UNCLE RUCKUS Well this looks just like me! Thank you, Miss Jenny! You're a regular Picasso! The kids file past Uncle Ruckus who tips his hat as they pass. : UNCLE RUCKUS Mmm hmmm...Mista Billy...Ms. } Brenda...yes’m Miss Bridget.... Jazmine is about to board. Ruckus’s smile fades. UNCLE RUCKUS And here’s our new friend. What you say your name was again? JAZMINE Jazmine! Jazmine DuBois! UNCLE RUCKUS Well ain’t you a pretty one... As she passes, he catches her by the back of her hair.

21. UNCLE RUCKUS --but you should think about some relaxer, or a perm, somethin’ Huey and Riley approach. UNCLE RUCKUS (angrily) Oh hell no! Y’all ain’t gettin’ on this bus. C’mere... Uncle Ruckus pushes the boys against the side of the bus and starts to frisk them. HUEY Get your hands off me! RILEY Yeah, cuz, back up off us! UNCLE RUCKUS I ain’t your “cuz”, I ain’t your “homie”, I ain’t your “row dog”... Ruckus notices a latecoming neighborhood kid running up on the bus. UNCLE RUCKUS (CONT’D) me for {to the new kid) Good day there, Mista Charlie! He boards. UNCLE RUCKUS Where was I - oh yeah, I know what y’all plannin’ to do! Y’all gonna my bus and put 20’s on it! Unele Ruckus reboards the bus.

22. UNCLE RUCKUS “This bus don’t need no dubs! I tell you what, I feel sorry for your Granddaddy. Now go away! These childrens got to get to school! . He slams the bus door shut and pulls off. HUEY I hate this neighborhood. EXT. STREET - MINUTES LATER. As Huey and Riley turn a corner, we see the bus pull up to them. The door opens as the bus drives alongside ‘them. UNCLE RUCKUS I don’t know what y’all goin’ to school for anyway! Waste of damn time! What do you two 1’il Negro hoodlums think you got, a future? What you gonna be, a bus driver?! I’m the bus driver? Y’all should be rappers! Then y’all can start some beef and shoot each other! Do the- world a favor! How ‘bout that! They shouldn’t have never have let no colored folk move into this neighborhood. HUEY Really? And what are you? UNCLE RUCKUS I tell you what, I ain’t one of you! I got Indian in my family! (MORE)

a 15 15 23. UNCLE RUCKUS (cont’d) Blackfoot, Slewfoot, Apache, Cherokee, Iroquois, Turquoise... EXT. J. EDGAR HOOVER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL MOMENTS LATER. Huey and Riley, arrive at the school with the bus still alongside. UNCLE RUCKUS i5 ... Seminole, Mohican, aaaaand 4s Sioux! With a touch of Irish. Matter of fact, in some cultures I’m considered European! The other children exit the bus. UNCLE RUCKUS . . Bye, Miss Jenny...Mista Charlie.. Huey and Riley pass an ominous statue of J. Edgar Hoover as they enter the school. INT. J. EDGAR HOOVER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - - MORNING. Huey sits at his desk. He notices Billy, Brenda, and Charlie around Jazmine’s desk. Brenda touches Jazmine’s hair. BRENDA Ow! Your hair hurts, Jazmine. Charlie touches her hair. CHARLIE BILLY Does that really hurt?!

24. Brenda grabs Billy’s hand and touches Jazmine’s hair. BILLY Ow! It does! The kids laugh. Jazmine forces a smile. Huey gets out of his seat. : HUEY Is there a problem here? BILLY Ooohhh...look, Jazmine. Your boyfriend Huey’s here to save you. KIDS Ooooohhbh... HUEY I’m about to hurt you.... JAZMINE Everything’s okay, Huey. We’re just having fun... HUEY What are you, a goat in a petting zoo? Why are you letting them treat you like that? JAZMINE No! But see! It does hurt! (she touches her own hair) Ow! See?!

17 25. Jazmine gives Huey a look that says “Please go away”. Huey looks up to Billy and Charlie, then sucks his teeth. HUEY Have it your way. Huey walks away. The bell rings. INT. FREEMAN HOUSE - MORNING. Open on a Tae-Bo informercial. BILLY BLANKS Take control of your life! 17 Pull back to reveal Granddad standing in front of the television in his robe. GRANDDAD Time to get my “Tae-Bo” on! Granddad drops his robe, revealing he’s naked (with sensitive areas blurred out). BILLY BLANKS Call 1-800-TaeBo for your copy today ! GRANDDAD Sorry Billy Blanks, but why buy the tape when you can get the infomercials for free! Granddad begins the workout, mimics the movements onscreen. Suddenly his face contorts with pain. He grabs his heart, his back, then passes out on the floor.

om 26. EXT. J. EDGAR HOOVER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY. Kids play while Huey walks amid the large trees at the far end of playground. Leaves fall around him. Jazmine approaches wearing a look of guilt. JAZMINE Hello, Huey. Huey looks at her scornfully and keeps walking. i JAZMINE Huey! Don’t be mad. HUEY | I’m always mad. It’s kinda my trademark. JAZMINE | I mean ... I’m - I’m sorry for - HUEY Don’t apologize to me, apologize to yourself! JAZMINE Well what am I.supposed to do! HUEY Stand up for yourself! Beat the respect out of them! JAZMINE And how can you make friends by fighting?

19 19 27. Huey sighs. JAZMINE I just want people to like me. HUEY No. (gestures towards the other kids) You want them to like you. It’s okay. Keep playing their pathetic little punching bag. I don’t care anymore. Huey walks away. We pull back on Jazmine, alone, as the leaves fall around her. INT. FREEMAN LIVING ROOM - AFTER SCHOOL. The front door opens. The boys run straight for the Playstation. RILEY 19 ...and don’t start crying like a- 19 punk and trying to reset the Playstation when you lose! HUEY, Spell “Playstation”, dummy. They stop at the sight of their Grandfather sprawled in front of the television. RILEY Eww. Granddad’s naked.

28. Huey checks Granddad’s breathing. HUEY He’s breathing so he ain’t dead. RILEY _ Well, we gotta do something. The boys run offscreen and quickly return with a blanket which they lay over Granddad. They set the Playstation on. his stomach and begin playing, frantically smashing buttons. We pan up to a clock on the wall. It reads 3:15. Dissolve to the clock, which now reads 4:15. HUEY Daggonnit! RILEY You play like you’re retarded. HUEY You are retarded. GRANDDAD (groaning softly) . Help me ... HUEY Did you hear that? Riley listens. RILEY That's just your conscience telling you that you suck:

20 HUEY No-no ... listen. GRANDDAD (a little louder) Help me... HUEY Hey...he’s not sleeping. Something’s wrong. RILEY Oh snap! What do we do? Call 9-1-1? HUEY No! (cautiously) That's exactly what they’d want us to do...That’s how they got Fred Hampton... EXT. FREEMAN HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER. The boys exit the house. HUEY gotta find some help! A cop car pulls up next to the boys. OFFICER You boys need some help? The boys look at each other. Then back to the cop. 29. 20

30. HUEY No we don’t need no help ‘Officer { Got-damn Friendly”! Can’t we just walk down the street without you sweatin’ us? RILEY Eff the police!! The officer shrugs and drives off. HUEY let’s go find help! EXT. YARD - MOMENTS LATER The boys turn the corner. They see the back of a Black man’s head over a fence. 21 HUEY 21 Hey you! Brotha man! We need help, our Granddad’s in trouble. The man turns around. It’s Tom DuBois, pulling something heavy out of his SUV. The boys run up to hin. . HUEY Mr. Dubois, we need help! TOM Sure thing, can you just give me hand with this? Tom and the boys set a large heavy object, covered in cloth, on the ground: Tom removes the cloth, It's a marble monument of the Ten Commandments. '

TOM Isn’t it beautiful! Got this on Ebay! Huey and Riley look at each other. TOM Don’t know what Sarah’s gonna say, but I‘m gonna hold my ground this time! HUEY Well, we really need some help! Our Granddad is sick. TOM (reading monument) Well let’s see here ... honor thy father and...why sure! What’s the problem? HUEY Don’t know, he fell out. TOM Well, did you call 911?! HUEY 9-1-1 is a joke! You can’t trust the police! 31.

(shocked) Can’t trust...Can’t trust the police?! Where do you kids get this tomfoolery! The police are our friends! Why else would it say ‘Protect and serve on their cars’? Just the other day a policeman pulled me over just to say hi. I mean, he checked my licence, he asked where I was going - HUEY Mr. DuBois...we’re in a rush here. TOM Oh yeah, let’s go! INT. FREEMAN LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER. 22 Huey, Riley, and Tom stare down at Granddad. TOM Great Caesar’s Ghost, that man’s naked! Paramedics and police enter the room. OFFICER #1 Okay, what’s going on?

33. TOM Well, hello officers! We know everything is going to be okay now that you’re here! HUEY We got home from school and he was passed out. TOM (to officer) You know, I was a junior deputy at the Eagle Brow, Idaho, police department when I was eleven. The policeman looks at Tom for a beat. The paramedics lift Granddad. PARAMEDIC Sir, can you talk? Do you know what happened? GRANDDAD (barely audible) Billy ... Billy Blanks... TOM Billy Blanks?! Billy Blanks did this to your grandfather?! (pauses) And he seems like such a nice Man... END OF ACT ONE

34. BEGIN ACT TWO. INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY. A DOCTOR checks Granddad’s blood pressure. DOCTOR Heart attack? No, you collapsed 23 because of a combination of over- exertion, ‘a bad back, and indigestion. GRANDDAD Say what you want, Doc, I done seen the other side. I had one of those near out of body death experiences. DOCTOR I see, and what was that like? GRANDDAD I got a whole vision for my life. Plus, I could float around and keep my eye on y'all while I was stretched out naked. Made sure none of y’all were touching me in an ‘improper way. He removes the doctor’s hand, which was resting on his leg.

25 26 INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY. Riley and Huey are sprawled out on a chair, snoring loudly. Granddad enters. GRANDDAD 25 Boys! Huey and Riley wake up. RILEY Granddad! The boys run over and hug Granddad. Granddad looks happy for a beat, then his mood suddenly darkens. GRANDDAD (pushing the boys away) Get the hell off of me! INT. FREEMAN CAR - LATER. Granddad is driving. Huey and Riley sit in the back. GRANDDAD So it took you an hour and.a half 26 to realize the person who provides you with food and sustenance was on the verge of death? RILEY But I was winning! HUEY Granddad, I’m sorry, but I thought you were asleep. If we had known -

36. GRANDDAD But you didn’t know, and you didn’t care. But that’s okay, because going to make some changes around here. We are going to be a happy, loving, caring family even if it kills you! EXT. CHURCH - DAY. The Freeman clan arrives in front of a large, Gothic cathedral. 27 HUEY 27 27 Oh hell no! GRANDDAD Oh Hell yeah! The family that prays together, stays together! I need to get right with God. God spared my life! God is good! HUEY He aight. GRANDDAD What? ! HUEY He aight.. I mean...I’m glad you die and all, but if you gonna give him credit, then he’s gotta take the blame too. (MORE)

37. HUEY (cont’d) Let's not forget war, famine, Eddie Griffin...just because we’re all caught up in the moment... GRANDDAD Boy, shame on you! God ain’t just “aight”! He’s...better than He’s...he’s...Riley, what do you kids call somethin’ that’s better than aight? RILEY The shiznit? GRANDDAD That’s right! God is the shiznit! Now let’s go! Granddad drags them up the stairs. GRANDDAD {to Riley) OK, what does “shiznit” mean? INT. CHURCH - DAY. Huey, .Riley and Granddad sit in a pew. The boys look around. Statues all seem to stare at them. Somber organ music plays. RILEY Granddad, I think we came to a funeral by mistake. Granddad looks around.

GRANDDAD I think right boy. (leaning forward to the next pew) Excuse me...Did somebody die? PARISHONER Shhhhh! The Priest stands at the alter. PRIEST In Nomina Patris, et Filii, et - GRANDDAD ‘Amen! Preach brotha! Praise Jesus’ name ! The congregation glares at Granddad. GRANDDAD (mumbling) Just tryin’...you know...’ liven things up a taste...to hell with yiall.:. RILEY (To Huey) You have to do something. Sunday is half over. This “church” crap is eating up all our video game time. GRANDDAD We're not leaving ‘til the preacher says it’s over! 38.

Fine. Huey stands up on the pew. HUEY (To Priest) Excuse me, I have a question. All eyes are on Huey. HUEY (To Priest) Jesus was crucified on a cross, right? PRIEST Yes, young man. HUEY And you honor Jesus. by wearing the cross? PRIEST Correct. HUEY So what if Jesus had gotten the electric chair? PRIEST Well...uh... HUEY Don’t answer yet. Let’s say. Jesus was a shot by 357 Magnum. © (MORE)

29 40. HUEY (cont/’d) _Would we all wear a little pistol around our neck? Granddad puts his head in his hands. HUEY Let's say Christ was attacked by a rabid badger - or better yet -a swarm of killer bees. Instead of making the sign of the cross, would we do this? Huey starts waving his arm around as though swatting bees. INT. FREEMAN CAR ~ MOMENTS LATER. Door slams. The car drives off. 1 GRANDDAD If I gotta spend a thousand years 29 in hell next to Uday and Qusay Hussein, it’s your fault! Granddad checks the rear view mirror. The church congregation is chasing the car, throwing stones that bounce off the trunk. HUEY I understand this whole *quality time” thing, Granddad, but let’s do something we can all enjoy. GRANDDAD Maybe you're right, boy. Let’s go have some fun. Some real fun.

41. EXT. WOODCREST LAKE - DAY. 30 It's a beautiful day on the lake. Granddad, Tom, are fishing poles and the boys are in the boat, looking miserable. RILEY I’m bored. Riley punches Huey in the arm. Huey pushes back. GRANDDAD Tom, I don’t know what to do about these boys. Look around you. Look how beautiful it is. But they don’t appreciate it. TOM Well, how do you discipline ‘em? GRANDDAD Oh I beat ‘em. I beat ‘em with a belt, I beat ‘em with a tree branch...I beat ‘em with a tree! TOM Have you tried a time out? GRANDDAD You mean like in football? TOM No, like this. Tom turns around to the boys.

TOM - Boys! Time out! The boys freeze and look at Tom. Tom turns back around, they immediately go back to fighting. : TOM Well, those boys sure are a handful. I’m glad my Jazmine’s such an angel . GRANDDAD Well thanks the lord for that. TOM Poor little thing, I think she’s having a hard time at school. GRANDDAD Well have you ever thought about doing something with the girl's hair? TOM I don’t know anything about how to © do a girl’s hair, and her mother being white... Yeah well, nobody’s perfect. Shoot, I wish my only problem was hair...not that it isn’t. He gestures back to Huey’s hair.

43. GRANDDAD I brought these boys out here so they could grow up in a safe place, and they damn near gave me a heart - attack! The boat rocks from the boys fighting. GRANDDAD Boys, stop it right now! TOM Boys, can’t you see we’re all in the same boat! Tom stands. TOM (CONT’D) Tf you don’t stop fighting we’re all going to - The boat capsizes, dumping them all into the lake. INT. FREEMAN HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON. The front door opens, and a soaking wet Granddad, Huey, and Riley enter. Their shoes squeak with every step. RILEY (to Granddad) I‘ll just go get your belt now. Granddad looks at the boys, sighs, and shakes his head. GRANDDAD Don't bother

44, RILEY . You’re not going to beat us? i Granddad walks off. GRANDDAD You do what you want to do. Beat. RILEY Cool. Game time, baby! Riley runs off. Huey, wearing a look of concern, watches as Granddad walks down the hallway. INT. DUBOIS HOUSEHOLD - MORNING. Jazmine sits before a large mirror, as Sarah struggles to comb. Jazmine’s hair. JAZMINE -so then Huey said that when the other kids make fun of me I should fight them. Then he got mad at me when I didn’t want to fight. Now I don't have any friends. Sarah tears off: a piece of duct tape from a roll, and tapes an Afro puff on the left side of Jazmine’ s hair. SARAH Well, that sounds like an old friend of mommies. His name was Clarence 2X. (MORE)

45. SARAH (cont’d) He was in a little club called The Nation of Islam. He wanted to Fight everybody. And his little friends with their bow ties would say, “What are doing ofay cracker devil”? And he would just start fighting. Sarah starts making another Afro puff with some twistie ties. SARAH (CONT’D) Now I‘11 admit, in my younger days, that kind of thing excited me, but the relationship had no future. Do you know how tough it is getting into the county jail on Saturday? So anyway honey, the point is those’ tough guys can be fun, but be careful. Sarah sets big bow in her hair. SARAH All finished! You’re hair looks great! Jazmine stares in the mirror. She has three asymmetrical afro- * puffs. EXT. BUS STOP - MORNING. The neighborhood kids are grouped together while Huey and Riley stand several feet away.

33 46. Jazmine arrives at the bus stop. Huey and Jazmine make eye contact as she ‘approaches. HUEY (To Riley) C‘mon. Let’s just walk. Jazmine starts to follow, then stops. A paper airplane flies in from the foreground and sticks into her hair. The Kids laugh at her off caméra. EXT. J. EDGAR HOOVER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - DAY. | : Huey sits against a tree reading the newspaper. Across the playground, Riley is standing on the swing seat33 swinging. -He’s got so much momentum going he’s almost doing 180 degree arcs. Jazmine is set upon by a group of kids. BILLY I mean, didn’t your parents tell you not to stick your finger. in ‘electric sockets? The kids laugh. Huey turns back to his paper. MACE WINDU (0.C.) You know what you have to do, Huey. Huey looks up to see Mace Windu in ghost form, walking towards him.

HUEY All I have to do is be Black and die.- MACE WINDU You: also have to live with yourself. HUEY She didn’t want my help, remember? MACE WINDU I know Jazmine hurt your feelings, Huey, but she’s still your friend. HUEY She didn’t hurt my feelings. I ain’t fighting nobody else’s battles. MACE WINDU I see you still pretend not to know the difference between fighting for nothing and fighting for something. HUEY Where’s a real Jedi when you need "one. Where's Mark Hamill? MACE WINDU Insult me all you want. I’m just a figment of your imagination anyway. May the Force be with you. 47.

48. Mace fades away. Uncle Ruckus, raking leaves, watches the kids tease Jazmine. BRENDA You know what? She looks kinda like Mariah Carey. Except Mariah Carey is pretty. She’s more like ‘Mariah Scarey”. Jazmine’s eyes fill with tears. BRENDA Jazmine’s ugly! Jazmine begins to cry. HUEY (0.C.) Leave her alone. Buddy steps up in Huey’s face. BUDDY Mind your own business. (Then) You walk around like you’re so tough! We’re not scared of you Huey. Besides, it’s three of us and one of you. Buddy pushes Huey. HUEY You push me so I’m supposed to push you back, right? Huey looks at Jazmine as tears stream down her face.

49. HUEY But I’m not going to push you back. I’m better than that. Huey punches Buddy in the face.. HUEY I'mma knock yo’ ass out! Billy and Charlie rush Huey, who slips and blocks their wild punches. From Riley’s POV from the swings, he notices a commotion. RILEY Ooo, fight! As Riley swings back down he sees that it’s Huey surrounded by three boys. RILEY Huey? ! As he swings forward, Riley dives off the swing and lands on top of Buddy. They fight. Huey faces Billy and Charlie. Huey does a series of elaborate Kung-Fu hand movements. The boys stand dumbfounded. HUEY Allow me to demonstrate the skill of Shao'lin...the special technique of ‘Afrofist"”! The fight ensues. Charlie punches at Huey’s face. Huey tilts his head down so the punch lands harmlessly in his afro. Teachers converge on the fight and pull the kids apart.

34 TEACHER What’s going on here? Uncle Ruckus runs into the scene. UNCLE RUCKUS I saw it, I saw the whole thing! Uncle Ruckus points to Huey and Riley. UNCLE RUCKUS They started the whole thing! JAZMINE But...no! That’s not TEACHER (to Huey and Riley) You two, come with me now! JAZMINE But! But! INT. FREEMAN LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON. The phone rings. Granddad answers it. GRANDDAD Hello? Yes... Fighting...uh- huh...both of ‘em. . .Kung- Fu...yeah...the People’s Elbow...three hours detention. No, I will not pick them up! I’m done with those kids! 50. 34

35 He hangs up. INT. DETENTION ROOM - AFTERNOON. Huey and Riley sit alone. Huey looks sad. RILEY What’s wrong man? HUEY Why do I help Jazmine? She doesn’t appreciate it? RILEY Wow, that’s deep. Let me think about that ...‘Cause you were tryin’ to be “Captain-Save-A-Hoe”! Gettin’ in beef over some female. I’m tellin’ you right now, until you get your mind right...you’1l be a lemon in the limelight. Huey gives Riley look of disdain. HUEY What the hell does that mean? 35 There is a tap on the window. It’s Jazmine. Huey opens the window. Yeah?

52. JAZMINE I, um... I’ve got half a sandwich left from lunch if you’re hungry. HUEY I’m fine. Huey's stomach growls. HUEY Well, is there pork in it? JAZMINE No! It’s turkey! Jazmine gives Huey a sandwich and a bottle of water. JAZMINE I...I told them you didn’t start the fight, but they wouldn’t... HUEY It’s okay. This is...nothing. Beat. JAZMINE ‘Thank you. Huey looks slightly surprised. He gives Jazmine an awkward, but stoic nod. She smiles and exits. RILEY You got a sandwich from that hoe?! Riley reaches for. the sandwich. The boys start fighting.

36 37 EXT. UNCLE RUCKUS’S SHACK - AFTERNOON. Shot of nice block in Wooderest. Ruckus’s shack just outside of the city limits. INT. UNCLE RUCKUS’S LIVING ROOM. 53. Then pan over to see Uncle Ruckus and Granddad sit amongst the clutter of Ruckus’s place. UNCLE RUCKUS I told you this was a beautiful neighborhood, but you didn’t say you was bring them two little hooligans with you. GRANDDAD You ever talk to your daughter? UNCLE RUCKUS She ain’t worth a quarter. I told her whole life she wasn't going to amount to nothin, and she didn’t. pregnant young, now she’s on ‘welfare. GRANDDAD _ Oh, that’s too bad...how’s the boy? UNCLE RUCKUS Told him he wasn’t worth a nickel. Told ‘em every day. “Boy, you. ain’t worth a nickel”. (MORE) 37

——™~ UNCLE RUCKUS (cont’d) He'd say, “Bye daddy, I’m off to get my “PhD” or some nonsense. GRANDDAD What happened to him? UNCLE RUCKUS He's some big shot doctor in New York, but that’s just luck, let’s talk about something else. - GRANDDAD What are your grandkids like? UNCLE RUCKUS Who needs them...I got all these wonderful childrens here in Woodcrest. They love me. A brick comes through the window, startling Granddad. Ruckus walks over to the window, grinning. UNCLE RUCKUS Hey now, Mr. Timmy, y’lost your brick again! TIMMY (0.C.) Screw you, fat ass! Uncle Ruckus laughs warmly. UNCLE RUCKUS Mista Timmy got a good arm... Uncle Ruckus sits down. 34. Uncle

UNCLE RUCKUS Now that’s an example of a nice boy with potential. Now your boys ...they baaad...the older one, with the bush, Huey? Today, he got ina fight ‘cause he was tryin’ to impress that little mulatto gal with the crazy hair...Sassafrass? GRANDDAD Jazmine. UNCLE RUCKUS Mmm-hmm whatever. All they was doin’ was teasin’ her about her hair - which I feel is very fair considering her head is nappier than a wolf's ass - and here comes Mr. Bushman pickin’ a fight with three boys. GRANDDAD Three boys? It was three on one? UNCLE RUCKUS Yeah, until his good for nothing jumped in to help him. GRANDDAD Riley was fighting to protect Huey? I thought they was fighting each other! 55.

38 56. UNCLE RUCKUS God ain't that good. Naw, they whupped the snot out of three innocent little boys. Shame, shame, shame. Granddad smiles. GRANDDAD Well, imagine that...heh heh. I wonder if they used the right hook I taught ‘em? UNCLE RUCKUS I feel sorry for you. You need to get rid of them kids. I give you my pistol, and I promise not to testify. Then you can have your life all to yourself. Just like me. GRANDDAD I gotta go. Granddad exits in a hurry. INT. FREEMAN LIVING ROOM - NIGHT. CU on Huey, frantically pressing buttons on a Playstation joystick. : ‘ RILEY (0.C.) What’s wrong, man? You got your hands on backwards? Huey’s face shows frustration. 38

57. RILEY (0.C.) Is your joystick broke? HUEY Shut up! We pan out to see that Huey opponent is Granddad. Riley sits between them GRANDDAD Boy, I’m schoolin’ you like “The United Negro College Fund”. Riley laughs. GRANDDAD Got that from a rap record. RILEY Good one, Granddad! Huey throws down the joystick. GRANDDAD That's right boy, don’t hate the player, hate the game! FADE OUT. THE END